We have a plan!

Nurse Wendy and I chatted several times today--and we have the start of a plan :)
AF started today--I called the nurse and she said go ahead and start b/c, she wasn't sure yet if I could cycle or if I'd have to wait, but she said either way they would want me on b/c. She called back a couple of hours later and said Iowa City had ok'd it on Tues. at their team meeting for me to cycle now, but it had never made it back into my chart for them to call me. So I am good to go. She is calling in the meds this afternoon for delivery next week. I will have a baseline u/s and go over meds on the 3rd of August and we will go from there. She said it will be pretty much the same protocol I had before since it worked of us. So it will be leurpolide, follistim, and repronex. Hopefully it will work as well as it did last time. My only concern is the timing and the start of school. She thinks we should be done before I have to start, but couldn't guarantee it until she sees my calendar from Iowa City. I'll do what I have to do, but it would be so much more convenient if I don't have to take off work the 1st week back! Excited to be back on again, really hoping and praying this is it for us!

Test results...

Yesterday at about 11:30 I got the call from nurse Mara. Her message simply said call back--they had my results in. During our lunch break (I was in class from 9-5) I called her back and got the most dreaded yet expected words "unfortunately you are not pregnant". I was able to hold it together on the phone to get a few questions answered. I was to stop meds immediately and wait for a period. I am then to call the office as soon as I get a period. Chuck and I are ready to start a fresh cycle immediately--we have to wait to hear from Iowa City if they will let us start a cycle with this period or if we have to wait one cycle out to let my body get back to "normal". Their team meeting is today, so I am hoping to hear something from them today. Obviously we want to go-ahead to start again asap but also want to do what will provide us the most chance for success.
I'm not going to lie, yesterday hurt a lot more than I thought it would. I thought I had mentally prepared for it, and was ready for it, but there was still that tiny bit of hope that it might be positive. Chuck and I spent the night at home (except for a side trip to Culver's for ice cream) cuddling and just enjoying each other and Emily. It was good, and now we are ready for the future.

Calling to God

While doing my Bible study today I read the beginning of Psalm 20, this is my prayer tonight-

May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion. May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings. May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the Lord grant all your requests. Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed; he answers him from his holy heaven with the saving power of His right hand. Some trust in chariots and horses but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm. O Lord, save the king! Answer us when we call!

I pray for God to be with Chuck and I tomorrow when the call comes from the dr. with the results of the blood test. I pray that we are pleasantly surprised with a positive test. I pray that God's will be done and that we are able to bring glory to Him with whatever the results may be. I pray thanksgiving for all of the friends who have supported us through this journey and checked in on us to let us know they care! It would be so much more difficult to walk this road without them. I know that God will bring good from this!

New hope!

Every morning I am bummed by the lack of positive tests, but by afternoon I am excited again for what the new day will hold tomorrow. I know that I am not completely out of this cycle until I get the call from the dr. on Monday, so every day I will continue to hold onto hope. I know that our embies are in God's hands and His plan will reign supreme. Tomorrow will be a long day of class, but then I am very excited to go on a date with my Chuck....it will be a nice end to a long week :)

Update...

New day, new test, same result......

Feeling hopeful

After this morning's negative test I was feeling pretty down, and then I did some internet research and my hope is back :) So I went out and bought more tests.....hopefully tomorrow morning is it for us...keep praying!

Testing....

negative :(
Will keep testing as the week goes on, but hope is starting to dwindle. I keep reminding myself that they were in the early blast/ day before blast stage, so they may very well have had to do some more growing before implanting. I am starting to get why people don't like early testing! Oh well..too late now, I'm on the bandwagon so I'll keep going! I know that God's hand is in this, and if these babies are meant for us, He will take care of them, but I also know His plan is bigger than us.

symptoms or side effects??

Since I am on multiple meds it is very hard to know if the weirdness going on is from the meds or symptoms of early pregnancy, obviously hoping for symptoms, only time will tell.
Here's what I am feeling so far--
Extreme exhaustion--tired all the time!
Random queasiness but nothing major
Weird twinges and cramps in the uterus area
Peeing all the time, but that might be because I am thirsty all the time.

Here is what the internet says is happening right now-

Right now, your baby is an embryo consisting of a ball of cells that is rapidly multiplying and expanding. If you were to look at your baby through a magnifying glass you would see a group of cells that does not resemble a human form (at least not yet!). By this week, your baby is about the size of the head of a sewing pin, or about .006 inches long.

So hopefully our baby is growing bigger and bigger every day!
And we wait......

New bed??

Apparently the new bed isn't the hit we thought it would be....last night and naptime today were both spent here--

VBS Songs...

Emily spent the last week at VBS--she is still in the nursery, but this year all of the kids in the nursery were old enough to participate in parts of VBS, so we did music with the 4 and 5 year olds. I'm pretty sure this was Emily's favorite part--she seemed to love the songs, and of course loves singing and dancing! Here is some video of her dancing from the program this morning. We started out at the back of the sanctuary, by the end of the program she was up front and center with the big kids having a blast!!

Happy 4th of July!

We spent last night with some friends who had an awesome view of the Geneseo Fireworks. Emily had a fabulous time hanging with all the big girls, she spent the majority of the time jumping on the the trampoline, I think that may be her new favorite toy. After it got dark we did sparklers--Emily was fascinated by them, but refused to hold one (probably a good thing!). We then cuddled up to watch the fireworks. She thought they were "awesome, cool, pretty, loud and boom" (all her words). She was happy as could be watching them, as long as she was safe and secure on mommy or daddy's lap!

Pictures...

They aren't the greatest because I don't have a scanner--but here are pictures of our lil babes...

Transfer complete...

It was a great day today for a transfer :) Chuck and I headed out at about 8:50 (only 20 min after we planned on), got Em dropped off at the sitter's and headed to Iowa City. We got there right at 10:30 and quickly found the "new" Center for Advanced Fertility. It's really probably not that new, but it's new to us. It is quite a nice facility.
We waited just a few minutes before being called back by our nurse. She was fabulous and great fun to spend a couple of hours with this morning. She got us checked in and changed into our scrubs and hospital gown and handed me 2 cups of water to get drank to have a partially full bladder. Shortly thereafter we were moved to the procedure room.
The embryologist came in to go over our embie pictures. All 6 were still fighting, 4 of them were at the cleavage stage (day3--so 2 days behind where they should be), 1 was a morulas (day 4) and 1 fair grade early blastocyst. We decided to transfer 2, the early blast and the morula since neither were of the greatest of quality. Then the dr and u/s tech came in, got everything set up and away we went. Several times during the transfer the dr. and u/s tech commented on how beautiful my uterus was--honestly not something I've been told often, but I'll take it if it gets us our baby. The transfer took about 15 min. and then 30 min of bedrest afterwards.
Then we were sent on our way. I am now enjoying my time on the couch for the night, hoping to get caught up on my reading for school since I'm not allowed to do much of anything else. Our next big step will be testing...which should start sometime next week, even though the official test isn't until the 12th.