New transfer

Life has finally calmed down enough to go back and visit our 2 frozen embryos and try to bring one of them home for good. We started this conversation way back in April, when we quickly discovered that my insurance through Galesburg didn't cover anything infertility related. Fortunately I had already accepted a new position for the fall in Knoxville and infertility would be covered. It was a long wait all summer, but we knew it was the logical choice. We made the 1st appt possible with Dr. Figge's office, however it was no longer dr Figge's office. Dr. K is the new dr there and we met with her the first week of Sept. Everything looked good to go to do a FET with my next cd1, which happened to be the following week. We called on cd1 and got the most unexpected news, that cycle period was full, we would have to wait. Unfortunately waiting would put our due date smack dab in the middle of Chuck's busy season, summer. And then comes the start of the school year, also not a great time to try and have a baby, so we opted to wait a couple months. November rolls around and they say we can sneak a cycle in before Christmas, or we would need to wait until Feb. We decided that even though the due date still won't be ideal (early Sept) we would go ahead and go with it. We started our meds Thanksgiving weekend then back to the dr Dec 11 for an u/s and pre-op to make sure everything is doing what it should be.....it wasn't. I had a follicle that shouldn't have been there, so they sent me for b/w to see what my progesterone was doing. Fortunately progesterone was where it should be so we had the green light for a transfer on the 18. At this point my biggest worry was the thaw. We only have 2 embies and then we are forever done. The 18 finally gets here and we head off to Iowa city. Our appt wasn't until 11 so we knew we were going to be early, but figured we could waste some time wandering around the mall while we waited. We got to the mall at around 10 and filled the 30 min with wandering and not much else. My stomach was in knots wondering about the thawing, so it was nice to have some distraction   We left there and headed to the hospital. The parking garage was packed but we finally found a spot and made it in with a min to spare! Got checked in quickly and taken back to the procedure room. Still no thaw report, but Chuck does a good job keeping my mind of it by playing with his hat (also referred to as his jellyfish) and other random discussion. Drs come in a little after 1130 with smiles on their faces and I innddiately begin to relax. They thawed 1 embie and it looked great! Transfer was a piece of cake and after a few minutes of bedrest they sent us on our way. After our "traditional" stop at chick fil a for lunch it was home again for family movie night. And now the weight begins.....10 days till the beta.

Test #1 12/23 negative
Test #2 12/25 negative
Beta #1 12/28 39.7
Beta #2 12/30 62
Beta #3 1/4 643.76

Emily's 6th Birthday

It's official, I'm a failed blogger--but hopefully I can at least keep up with birthday posts if nothing else! Emily's 6th birthday was exactly 2 months ago, so I'm only a little behind on this post :)

What was your favorite birthday present? Princess Sophia stuff
 What is the last thing you were sad about? Getting knocked into the baby stuff (??)
 What makes you really happy? Playing hide and seek
What are your thoughts about God? He makes you special
 What is your favorite thing to do? Play with Nina, Jordan, Grace and Greg at Bonkers
 What big kid thing would you like to learn to do? Play at school
 What do you think you'd like to be when you grow up? Ballerina
 Who is the last person you kissed? Payton

And some memories from your party-
Emily wanted a party at Bonkers (Ball pit play place), so we invited just a few friends to come and play. Greg, Nina, Grace and Grace's brother Isaac all came to play. Grandma and Papa Leader also came to help out. We had pizza and cupcakes and  you had a great time playing the games and playing in the ball pit.

Your actual birthday was on Wednesday so we celebrated with our church friends at Faith Encounter. Everyone sang to you! You wore your new Emily shirt to school and took rice krispy treats with chocolate and sprinkles to school. You also got to be star student at school for the whole week! Martha and Nick bought you tickets to see Sophia ad Jake live in St. Louis in Feb. 

Some other fun facts about Emily right now--
You are in kindergarten and are loving it! Your favorite thing to do at school is eat lunch. You have also become quite a good little reader. Writing isn't your favorite thing to do, but you are getting much better at it and can write sentences. You currently love playing on the ipad and playing outside on the swing set. You are a great helper and love to help mommy cook in the kitchen. You like being able to pick out your own clothes, even if they don't match :)

Some of your current favorites-
Color-pink and purple
Food-pizza
TV show-Dora
Best friend-Miley and Nina
Book-Lego books
Thing to do outside-sliding and monkey bars
Things to do inside-play in the big kid room at Wesley

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to the best daddy and papas my girls could ask for! Emily's thoughts on daddy and papa Leader--next year we will hopefully be able to add Payton's thoughts as well!

My daddy's name is -Chuck
How old is daddy -31
My daddy is great at -working at the foundation
When my daddy was my age she liked to -read books
My favorite thing to do with daddy is -hide and seek
I love my daddy because -because I love him so much
When daddy is bored he likes to -he cries and picks his nose
Daddy's favorite color is -black
My favorite food daddy makes is -maccaroni


My papa's name is- Papa
How old is papa-5
My papa is great at-babysitting
When my papa was my age he liked to-play with me
My favorite thing to do with papa is-read books and play with grandma and Payton
I love my papa because-I love to play with him
When papa is bored he likes to-plant a garden
Papa's favorite color is-purple
My favorite food papa makes is-grilled cheese

Hopefully next week we will have a full post on our adventures at camp last week.

We have 2 year old!

Payton turned 2 a little over week ago--it's so hard to believe it's already been 2 years! Here's her 2 year stats:
Weight 27lbs (~50%ile)
Height     (~80%ile)
And other than the last month has been generally healthy and meeting all of her milestones. She continually blows us away with what she can do and what she is willing to try.
She talks up a storm! Some of her favorite phrases are "I do'd it", "Phineas and Ferb please" and "MILK!"  She loves milk like no other and would drink it all day, every day if we let her.

She loves going to school and seeing her friends and we love the fact that her wonderful teacher Miss Susan and Miss Jessica have pretty much potty trained her. She is in undies all day and only wears a diaper at night. She sleeps all night most nights and has been a fabulous sleeper.

She loves her big sister and will do anything Emily does or asks of her. Last night we got home from school and Em sat down on the couch and said "Payton, can you put my shoes away?" and Payton immediately did it! Clearly Em has also figured out how the big sis role is supposed to work :)

Payton's favorite toy is legos, she loves building towers and then knocking them down. She also loves puzzles. During her hospital stay she became very proficient at using the ipad and knows how to find all of her favorites with no help at all. Her current favorite is Wheels on the Bus.

We are super excited to see what the next year of her life brings--although I do hope it slows down just a little!

Payton's hospital adventure

I have failed as a blogger, and it is sad that it took such a crazy adventure to get me back here, but I wanted to put the details of the past week in writing before I forget them, since it is likely an experience Payton won't remember. This will be a ridiculously long post, but I promise I will end it with some stinkin cute pictures of the girls. Here is the story of our last week-

Sunday: I washed Payton's face and she flinched and cried when I washed her right cheek. I remember thinking, 'hmm...maybe she has a tooth coming in back there" and moving on.

Monday: Chuck gets a call at 2:00 that Payton is running a fever and needs to be picked up. She comes home and spends the night playing with Em on her new swingset. Eats a good supper and seems fine. Again, I think teething, or maybe an er infection. Payton has a history of running fevers with teeth, so this wasn't totally abnormal. My parents were planning on coming into town Tuesday to help me stain the swingset, so I had already planned on taking a personal day, one quick e-mail changed it to a sick day to stay home with the nugget.

Tuesday: Our day started at about 3 a.m. when Payton woke up whimpering. She was hot, running between 103 and 104, and refused milk, which if you know Payton means something is definitely wrong! I try to get some tylenol in her, but she fights that off as well. We spent the next 5 hours on the couch with her tossing and turning, sleeping a few minutes and then waking up upset. I call the dr. at 8 thinking ear infection or strep, due to her refusal of milk. The soonest they can get us in is 10:45, so we spend the next couple of hours tossing and turning and alternating sleeping on Chuck or I. At this point she is simply miserable. We go to the dr. and she immediately notices that her right lymph node is swollen. I immediately feel like bad mommy, as soon as she points it out to me, I see that it is obviously swollen. She prescribes an antibiotic, runs a quick strep that comes back negative, and says ears look clear. The entire time Payton is sleeping on me. She says do whatever we can to keep her hydrated. So a quick stop at Walgreens to pick up apple juice and medicine, then a stop at the Foundation so Chuck can help me give the antibiotic then back home. She drinks about 1/2 a cup of apple juice, but refuses a popsicle. By the time we get home she is sleeping again, so I put her in the crib thinking she will wake up and feel better. Mom and Dad get here, and Dad and I work on the swing set, at 4:30 she is still sleeping so I decide it is time to wake her up and check on her before the drs office closes for the day. When I get her up, the entire right side of her face is swollen and she refuses apple juice, even when mom tries to give it through a syringe. I call the dr. and she says to head to the emergency room so they can do a ct. scan to make sure there is no abscess. She says to prepare for a trip to Peoria if there is an abscess so it can be drained surgically. I start to freak out just a little at this point, but still didn't imagine how it would end up. ER at Macomb was wonderful, got an iv running (only 2 pokes and 1 collapsed vein later) and take her back to ct. The fact that she didn't even fight them when they tried to poke her was clearly a sign she was miserable. The dr. decides to send us to Peoria via ambulance, so Chuck heads home to back a bag and Payton and I loaded into the ambulance. While chit-chatting with the medic riding with us, I learned that he lived 2 houses down from our house several years ago...fun little connection ;) The rest of the ride was spent on my phone trying to keep everyone updated, Payton slept. We arrived in Peoria shortly after 10 and were taken straight to our room (623). The nurse met us and went over the many "perks" of Children's Hospital. We were assigned a nurse and tech and got settled in for the night. The attending came in and basically said nothing would happen until the ENT came in in the morning to look at the ct scan. So I settled in to sleep on the couch and Chuck decided against waking up friends in the middle of the night and slept in the back seat of the van.

Wednesday: Payton is still miserable, we are continuing iv meds and fluids as she is still refusing to eat or drink. ENT resident comes in and says there is an abscess and we are on the schedule for surgery at 1, and should be able to go home the following day if there are no complications. An hour or so later the attending pedi comes in and says he doesn't think there will be surgery, but we had to wait for the ent to confirm. After lunch the ENT confirms that there is no abscess, just an infection so we will continue iv antibiotics overnight. Late in the morning Payton trips over her iv cord and pulls it out, causing blood to spray everywhere, fortunately a nurse had just walked in so the mess was dealt with. Downside...having to stick her for a new iv--no fun! The rest of the day is spent hanging out. Payton is still miserable, so she spends a lot of time sleeping and Chuck and I spend the day updating and hanging out. Martha and Nick send us pizza for lunch, which was fabulous and Pastor Rhee stopped by to visit late in the afternoon.

Thursday: Payton is still running a fever and not much change in the swelling so we are confirmed another night. This was about the point of my 1st breakdown, at this point I hadn't left the hospital at all, and with no end in sight it was wearing my down, so Chuck sends me to Target ;) I do a little shopping for things I hadn't to bring with and some pampering as well. My mom comes from Macomb to pick up Chuck, as they needed to go home that night. After mom and Chuck leave, I get a surprise visitor. Our floor was a secure floor, meaning visitors had to be on our approved visitor list or they can't get on the floor. I got a call from the front desk stating someone was here to visit me. The only problem is that I don't recognize this person's name at all. While I'm mentally trying to figure out what to say, I hear him say in the background that he is a UM pastor from a Peoria church, so I allow him back. Apparently the conference list serve had sent out a prayer request for Payton and so he had come to visit. We had a nice chat while Payton napped and made yet another connection. Our nurse for the day was actually someone whom we had crossed paths with back in our h.s. church days, her father also a UM Pastor. Payton and I spend the rest of the night hanging out, no excitement involved, which I am ok with.

Friday: Attending dr. comes in early and indicates that we may go home on an oral antibiotic with an outpatient recheck on Monday. Ent comes in later in the day and decides that until the fever is gone (which it isn't yet) then we are staying. He says we will add a 2nd antibiotic to the mix to try and get rid of the fever, and that he just doesn't feel comfortable with us leaving while she still has a fever. As much as I didn't want to stay, it was clear at this point Payton was better in than at home, so we stayed. That evening our dear friends visiting and brought me steak and shake, which was wonderful! Mom also stopped by for a visit on the way home from a meeting, so I was not lonely at all! By evening it appears as though Payton's fever has finally broken and she is feeling better. Which means much more difficult to keep her happy. We spent lots of time wandering the halls and playing in the playroom! At this point we were no longer on iv fluids, so she only had to be hooked up to the iv for meds, which made wandering a little easier. Original antibiotic was 30 min. every 6 hours, new antibiotic was every 8 hours for an hour, so we were still spending a good chunk of time hooked up. Payton didn't mind the antibiotic, or even being tethered to a pole, but the saline rinse prior to and after the antibiotic must have been like ice coursing through her veins, cause she screamed every time! By this point she had become a pro at the routine when a nurse walked in, she knew that 1st the ribbit would give her leg a hug (blood pressure) then her finger would glow red (pulse ox), then she would offer her armpit for temp. After all of this she would pull her ankle bracelet out for scanning and then start crying cause the meds were next. Fortunately all the nurses were amazing so it was much less miserable than it could have been.

Saturday and Sunday: The days were starting to become carbon copies of each other, nurses, drs. rounds, meds, walk the halls and play room. Em came to visit both days and Andy, Mattie and Shea hung out for a while Saturday night, helping to make the time pass a little more quickly. Sunday we were informed that Payton would be NPO after midnight, the dr planned on reimaging her neck in the morning and wanted her ready to go in case she needed surgery. The nurse checked and said we were scheduled for between 7:30 and 8, so I wasn't too worried about keeping her happy without milk for too long...little did I know what the morning would hold.

Monday: Everyone is very careful and quiet to let P sleep for as long as possible, knowing that she wasn't going to get breakfast, and more importantly milk, and that would be bad. She finally woke up at about 8:30, still no sign of transport. The nurse calls and they say they are running behind, but that they would get to her as quickly as possible. She does ok for a while, and then begins throwing herself down on the floor in the hallway in front of the kitchen and crying for milk. The nurse calls again, still nothing. Finally at about 10:30 they come up to get us, and we wait another 1/2 hour in u/s!! Not a happy camper. We finally get the imaging down and fortunately the results are read quickly, NO surgery needed :) which means we get to go home!! They want us to stay until her 1st dose of oral antibiotics which is at 2, and after that we are sent home! Possibly the longest 6 days of our lives, and most definitely my longest blog post...so if you made it this far--so pictures of our ordeal!

Tuesday night at MDH-this is how she spent the

 majority of the day Tuesday :(

                                          Sick, sleepy baby-this is how Weds and Thurs were spent

Friday morning at u/s, she did not enjoy this much even with Tangled on the Dvd player

                                                          Feeling better and having fun!

Emily coming to visit!

The view from our window--great fun for watching buses and helicopters, except for at 3 a.m!

Hiding under a chair while waiting for u/s because no one would let her have milk!

 So that is the long version of Payton's hospital adventure. Chuck has promised a slightly more humorous take on the adventure, so stayed tuned!

Emily's 5th birthday party interview

I realize I am way behind in blogging and really should do a Christmas post before a birthday post, but sadly it just hasn't happened yet. Someday soon hopefully. But in the meantime here is a snippet from Emily's brain on her 5th birthday-
What was your favorite birthday present? My Little Pony
What is the last thing you were sad about? If somebody hits me
What makes you really happy? When I go down the slide with my friends
What are your thoughts about God? He's special
What is your favorite thing to do? Play ball
What big kid thing would you like to learn to do? To play barbies
What do you think you'd like to be when you grow up? Teacher at school
Who is the last person you kissed? Nina (friend of school)-I kissed her on the cheek

And some memories from your party-
You had lots of school friends come (Ella, Greg, Nina, Griffin, Blaine and Grace). Papa Leader was there, but Gma Leader and Gpa and Gma Hilman were sick :(  Jen Coe and Bethany also came (they are dad's "big kids" from the Foundation)We had the party at the Foundation and blew up lots of balloons for you and your friends to play with. You also danced to music, played musical chairs and decorated cupcakes. Some of your  presents were a barbie, a my little pony, barbie music cd player, stuffed animals, a stamp kit and p.j.'s.

Your actual birthday was on Tuesday and since Payton was sick, Mommy got to walk you to school and pick you up! You got a new Emily shirt to wear and took fruit snacks to share with your friends. At home you got to facetime with Martha and Nick and found out that in a couple of weeks you get to go see Phineas and Ferb in St. Louis! We had mac and cheese and hot dogs for supper with dessert of zebra cakes and ice cream. It was really warm and rainy on your birthday-we broke the record high, it was almost 70!

Advent repost

I posted the following post last year, tonight at church as we were talking about Advent it popped back into my head. I feel this year more than year's past I have been overwhelmed with Christmas prep and trying to make sure it is perfect for the girls and quickly lose sight of what it is really all about. This post reminds me why we are anticipating Christmas, it isn't about matching p.j.s or the perfect present or beautifully decorated tree, or the right cookies but about Jesus. My prayer in the coming weeks is that we can keep that the center of the focus so our girls learn the true meaning of Christmas! And can I just say---has it really been 5 years!?! 
 
4 years ago Chuck and I were anticipating the birth of our 1st child soon after Christmas--Chuck wrote this Advent devotional for church. As we look forward to our first Christmas of parents of 2 children I think it continues to be applicable, especially as I watch Emily's excitement over the approaching holiday! May we all look forward to Christmas with her childlike faith!!

I Think I Get It Now

You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end.

I think I finally get it now.
For hundreds of years the Jews looked forward to the day their messiah would come and restore their kingdom. They wrote about their desire for him to come. They prayed for his coming deliverance. The eagerly expected him. I think I finally understand their sense of anticipation. As Sarah and I wait for our first child to be born I am beginning to understand the anticipation felt by the entire Jewish nation (on a much smaller scale, of course). We have spent the last six months preparing ourselves, and our home, for our child's arrival. We have prayed for our child every day. We have put together baby things, cleaned, and
prayed some more. Sarah has eaten and I have taken that as a challenge to eat more than her. I think I'm winning. The level of excitement about Christmas is a little higher this year because I know what it's like to anticipate the birth of a child. I would like to remind everyone about how exciting this Advent season really is. There is a reason the whole world is not excited about the birth of our child. He (or she) is not the savior of the world! We are anticipating the one who has saved us from our sins and redeemed us from the curse of the fall!
I pray that you would enter this Advent season with a sense of excitement and eager anticipation.